Love has alway interested me. It’s a powerful thing that can both fulfill us and destroy us, make us laugh and make us cry, make us content with the small things that we have, and make us do crazy things we never usually would have considered. Plutarch thought that love was a madness that overcame us in a fleeting moment that would ruin our lives, Shakespeare made us think that love could conquer anything, and Catullus thought that a life without love is not worth living. All these different views on love have been expressed throughout history with poetry, plays, novels, music, movies, television and art. Humanity has used any medium within its reach to show its opinions on love and didn’t really care if people agreed with them or not. Though people nowadays say the world is in a terrible place, full of hate and violence and greed the world has still held on to love. Even those who fill their life with hate cannot escape love, even if all they think they love is their hate.
By studying English for most of my life I have come across many views on love, and though I find some of them completely unfathomable, I admit that love is one of the most powerful and meaningful things a person can ever experience. However many of the ways we come to learn about romantic love can make our understanding of it blurred, making it easily confused with gratitude, attraction and idolisation. One thing I don’t believe in is “love at first sight” in a romantic sense. I believe that when a mother or father holds their child for the first time that they can love that child undoubtedly from that moment onwards, but as for romantic love I believe that love must grow over time.
People can say that they love someone two weeks into a relationship but may not actually mean it for another two years. I understand that some people wear their heart on their sleeve, I wouldn’t say I’m far from being one of those people, but I think that true, meaningful love, can take a year or even more to truly mature. Now people may think of me as a hypocrite as my boyfriend and I said the “L” world within a few weeks of our romantic relationship, however this is my example of the exception to the rule: “Friendships before Relationships”.
A good number of people will find love from their friendships. Sometimes a friendship that started off innocent will slowly grow into something more, sometimes friendships are made because of the initial attractions people have between each other, and sometimes one of the people in the friendship will develop romantic feelings for the other, but it takes a while for the feelings to be reciprocated. However it happens, I find that a friendship can turn into love surprisingly easily with the right people. The thing about love is that more often than not you will never see it coming, but to me that is one of the best parts about it.
So by now you probably think I’m a huge romantic who spends her day reading Romeo and Juliet non stop with a box of tissues and a bar of dairy milk. Well, I’ll take the chocolate but Romeo and Juliet, in my opinion, is a terrible love story. It brings me to the point of “Young Love” also known as “Puppy Love”.
What most people don’t realise when reading “the most romantic love story ever told” is that Juliet is under the age of thirteen when the story is told, her father even admitting that she is too young for love and marriage (and that was saying something in those times). The idea that the couple were so in love that they literally could not live without each other, and died because of it is a little ridiculous. Now I know most thirteen year old girls think that their relationships are totes gona last 4eva xx but realistically they will probably be over in a year tops. I’m not saying that young teenagers can’t feel love for someone romantically, but 9/10 times its going to be “Puppy Love”. The thing is that even if you love someone at that age, neither of you will be the same in ten years time. You are at that stage in life where you personality and interests change every ten minutes and by the time you reach 25, you most likely will have matured into a very different version of yourself.
However, I think that young love is a wonderful thing. It prepares you for the real deal and helps you realise a lot of things about yourself and what you want. It is an important experience to have but don’t be like Juliet and kill yourself over it. Trust me, you will laugh at your young relationships when you are older and wonder what the hell you were thinking, crying over that boy or girl for two weeks.
I believe that everyone will find that special someone whether they find it at 19, 29 or 59, but before you do, you should appreciate the other kinds of love you have around you. Whether its the love you get from your family, your friends, your dog, the kind stranger that ran after you when you dropped your purse on the street, or the waitress that always gives you extra cream in your coffee. Cherish it, and remember that though the world is full of poverty, war and greed, love is everywhere. Though it can sometimes cause us pain and we wish it was never there, it is still out there and I doubt it will ever leave us.
Inspired by Formosus, the logical romantic.